the unfolding of your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple. [psalm 119:130]
remember that feeling of getting passed a note in class when you were in school? i do. maybe it’s the equivalent of hearing a text notification today? but it feels good. you know someone has been thinking about you. wants to communicate something. maybe they want to ask you a question, or they’ve thought of something funny they know you will enjoy because they understand your sense of humor. you see it coming your way, and anticipate the connection it will create between the two of you. you feel seen, loved, known, special.
now think of how you feel when you reach for the word of the LORD. do you unfold his words with the same anticipation of connection? with the same satisfaction of being seen, loved, known, special?
i was just talking to my brother yesterday about reading God’s word. how we can spend time reading, learning, remembering, but there’s such a difference between doing it with your mind and doing it with your soul. i can so easily spend time in the word without spending time in the presence of God. i was recalling to him a time when i had been reading the word consistently, but just with cerebral monotony. it was a slump. a spiritual low. i knew real passion for the word could only come from the LORD, so i decided i needed to let him wake up my heart before i came to him with my mind. i decided to get up with my alarm each morning (i had been getting into a snoozing routine) and instead of heading downstairs for coffee or heading to the bathroom to wash my face, i would head straight to the floor beside the bed. on my face, crying out to the LORD, aloud, so i could hear my own words. i confessed my lack of humility before him. i confessed my desperation for his presence. i repented of apathy. i begged for nearness. i begged for his word to come alive in my heart, and to be able to enter the throne room of grace as he spoke to me from the pages.
and the LORD is faithful. he did answer my pleas. not immediately. not in the way i was waiting for, flooding my heart with overwhelming passion for his glory, but in a way that quieted me with his steadfast love [zeph 3:17]. a way that grew strong over time, as i cried out and confessed my weakness each morning, leaving no room for my own strength to help me grow, but with full reliance on his grace.
there will be many times of waning passion in my life, i’m sure. but i know where my help comes from. i lift up my eyes to the hills. from where does my help come? my help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. [psalm 121:1-2]
does this slump describe you at all? does your time in the word need revival? does your heart need awakening? cry out to the Lord. continually, and in humility. maybe it means on your face. maybe it means in the quiet of your closet or in the car. he is waiting! waiting to hear and answer you! therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you,
and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. for the LORD is a God of justice;
blessed are all those who wait for him. [isaiah 30:18] he wants to unfold his word to you in a way that gives more understanding of who he is. not just for your brain, but for your soul. so cry out, and wait for the Lord!
~arwen eastman